found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
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I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
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like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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