did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I have post one night stand depression
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