Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
