non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
