Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
