Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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