The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
