Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
