Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
