It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
