Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
