D3 body, D1 cock
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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