well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
