Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
