its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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