i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
