I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
