I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
