Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
