i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
