Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
