You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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