Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
