I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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