Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
