I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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