Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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