I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
