alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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