Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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