doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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