Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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