Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
