It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
