im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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