WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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