dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
