Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
