Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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