omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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