I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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