Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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