We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
