Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
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Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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