She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
