I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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