his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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