Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
