i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
