Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
