I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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