I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
