What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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