all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
