I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
