Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
