belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
