I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
