I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize