My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
