nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
