now i know why i became what i already was.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
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I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
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I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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