How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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