When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
