Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
